FIRST YEARS’ GUIDE TO FRIENDSHIP

Michelle Becker

@michelle_ib

Life after high school presents many changes and challenges. One of the challenges that is often overlooked, is the loneliness you can experience. You slowly lose touch with your high school friends and many of them had to move to a different town. It can easily feel like all sense of support and familiarity is disappearing. These feelings may become very overwhelming.

Firstly, learn to be comfortable with being alone. Research suggests that the reason loneliness can be prevalent even when you have a raging social life is that it has a lot more to do with your relationship with yourself (your self- confidence and self-esteem) than with others. Having a positive inner monologue can make any situation more bearable. Ways to improve your relationship with yourself include improving self-awareness through increased mindfulness and reflection. This can be achieved by intentionally spending time by yourself, whether that means going for a walk or run, doing something creative or even cooking yourself dinner.

Secondly, get mental health support if you need it. Feeling overwhelmed or isolated can be challenging to navigate and can make it even more difficult to connect with others. It can also negatively impact other parts of your life, such as your academic performance. This is why the North-West University Student Counselling and Development offers support for students. If you feel you are not coping call THUSO at 018 299 1777. This number can also be found on the back of your student card.

It can be hard to cope without having friends, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. The first step to meeting your future best friend is putting yourself out there. This can mean leaving your room and working in the library or at the student centre instead.

You can even join a club or other activities on campus. Once you’re there, greet people and be friendly. It can be scary if you’re not a social butterfly, but people won’t notice you if you’re hiding in the corner.

Don’t compare yourself to others. People often fail to reach out because they feel that they are inadequate and that it will immediately lead to rejection. This simply isn’t true. It is important to give others the benefit of the doubt. They haven’t rejected you yet, and even if they do, rejection is a natural part of life.

Don’t overthink your social interactions either, just take it slow. Friendships tend to occur naturally once you’ve taken the first step and continue to make an effort.

Don’t give up. Making friends and settling in takes time. Find comfort in knowing that you aren’t the only one struggling.